The little sister thing didn't pan out. Nor did the slimmer, healthier me. Focus on myself is just never going to happen. As depressing as that is, with 2 boys now (Cooper Hudson being born Sept/13) I have no life of my own. Doug's hours are so unpredictable that a weekly 1hr Zumba class isn't attainable. Of course it should be stated that I threw my back out at my first class and have been in near constant pain since. That was 6wks ago. Yay me.

So what to do then. Give up. Cash'r in and take my losses. Not sure what I'm feeling about the whole thing. My Scentsy business isn't paying any bills just yet but it's sporadic enough to keep me an active consultant. Working on that. Plan in place and initiatives started. I've also got a bookkeeping client I haven't started working for yet. Waiting for them to return from holidays to see if this whole thing will pan out. Just trying to feel like a household contributor.

Household contributor. What does that even mean for a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom)? Between bottles and diapers and potty training; laundry and meals and dishes Oh My. Is that not contribution enough? Granted neat freak is NOT in my personality make up. We still look like we moved in last week and not 4mos ago. But when the choice is sort clothing in bedroom closet or nap because I got 1hr sleep last night, the nap always wins. And sometimes I don't even get that. They say it gets easier. There's that elusive "they" again. Rat bastards ruin everything.

Tangents abound in this one. Let's see if I'll write again before another year passes.